Saturday, July 26, 2008

All the Girls Hate Her

One thing I absolutely love about coming to Margate, NJ is the ample opportunity to sit around and do nothing if I so choose. For instance, for most of the afternoon while the masses were roasting themselves in UV rays on the beach, I was passed out on a porch napping in the shade enjoying a salty breeze and listening to music. I work hard to keep my alabaster complexion folks! There is also ample time to read, to write or sit in a pensive manner whilst enjoying an ice cold beer or nice glass of wine.

Listening to my Ipod on shuffle this afternoon, watching people walk by en route to the beach, I came to a wholly instrumental song called All the Girls Hate Her as I witnessed two young girls gossiping loudly about some other girl. Why do we do this to each other ladies? Why as women do we need to judge or to tear down other women? Personally and especially after working at a mental health facility specializing in the treatment of eating disorders, I am very aware on how difficult it is to maintain a positive body image, to be comfortable regardless of the what the number on the scale is or what size clothing one wears. For both men and women, not an image goes by in a magazine or on the television that doesn't glorify beefy men or stick thin women as perfection. Pile on the war of animosity and judgment and gossip women wage on each other and it's amazing that anyone has a positive self-image or well-adjusted feelings of self-worth not tied to one's appearance.

I have all too often resided in the aftermath of an insecure woman's bad decisions. I have too frequently witnessed a judgmental look or whispered voices measuring another girl's body or articles of clothing. I do not declare innocence. It's so easy to get caught up, it's a feeling of belonging of accord of I am better than you are. I am guilty, but these are the moments I regret that I continually try to amend in how I live and act now. I am blessed to have a small, but strong circle of women friends who celebrate one another on our attributes and accomplishments. They are so quick to compliment and to encourage when needed, to provide support. I am hopeful for a day when women celebrate each other, when I walk into a room full of women and feel connected, linked as sisters and mothers and friends.

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